enough said

to sleep perchance to...believe

The beauty of simple joy.

The marvel of nature’s glow.

The wonder of a quiet moment.

The grace of a day’s reverie.

These are the gifts for the soul.

The first smile of a newborn.

The sweet fragrance of a spring blossom.

The serene notes of a dove’s coo.

The hope of a new day.

These are the gifts for the spirit.

The hug of a loved one

The warm sun on your face.

The gentle wind on your back.

The calm feeling after a crises.

These are the gifts for the heart.

a watery existence

Tired and weary

I melt into the bath

Then pour myself into bed

Rolling and restless

I sleep little

a wrong number wakes

draining from bed

I rise and drip into the day and its details

good egg

(excerpt from journaling)

Burned but not consumed

Beaten down but not defeated

Life happens

Broken but not beyond repair

Lost but not hopeless

God is everything

Unheard but not mute

Unseen but not invisible

I am surviving

being A W E S O M E - the power to choose

I cannot change a person but I can choose to accept them. I cannot change all situations but I can choose my reaction. I cannot be everything to everyone all the time but I can choose to do what I can when I can for as long as I can. I cannot fix dire situations but I can choose not to worry over it.

I have a choice and privilege….

To stay in the present

How I behave

Where I go

What my attitude is

How I take care of myself

How I care for others

Who I want to be

What I say and think

To be happy

symbols

Life’s simple symbols uphold our being and we survive daily.

Scripture encourages the down and out and shows them they are not alone.

God is always ready to listen, guide and uphold us.

Christian family holds our best interest.

Angels surround and protect those we love.

The Holy Spirit intercedes when we are lost to helping ourselves.

regrowth

life changes

regrowth occurs

hope disentegrates

spirit kicks in

doubt attacks

faith returns

to what end?

I go to bed in tears. I wake up in tears.

I go to bed exhausted. I wake up exhausted.

I go to bed in fear. I wake up in fear.

I go to bed with doubts. I wake up with doubts.

I go to bed pleading to God. I wake up pleading to God.

I go to bed dreading. I wake up dreading.

I repeat these useless repetitious problems over and over and to what end.

NOTHING!

Winter's Lament

A red cardinal

A gray sky

A blue soul

Will I ever be whole

Cold air

Shivering branches

Broken heart

When does life restart

Dull light

Obstructed view

Hurting spirit

Why does nothing fit

REFOCUS!

Peace eludes a weary mind.

Faith dries in a hurting heart.

Joy evacuates a broken spirit.

Hope deserts a doubtful soul.

Staying in the present is to out last the negative with the next halted breath or the next skipped heartbeat.

People do not do what they are advised.

Life is a conundrum.

Many days are good but just as many are bad.

Troubles attack and blessings abound simultaneously.

We miss happiness by focusing on the bad. And we overreact to the negatives while underemphasizing the positive.

We lose the present joys by paying too much attention to the past and over thinking the future.

(THE BIGGER PROBLEM is to figure out how to REVERSE OUR FOCUS!)

pray

Close your eyes.

Breathe a prayer.

Believe in peace.

Feel the answer.



feel my pain

Walk in my skin

Feel my pain

Breathe my air

Know my struggle

Get in my head

Believe my uncertainty

Discover my hurt

Understand my reasons

struggles

Rise above the anger and hate.

Climb out of the deep dark hole of self-pity.

Cleanse you soul of all doubt and fear.

Let go of complacency and embrace possibility.

Choose the bright side of hope and seek a joy in answered prayer.

Believe the goodness of God and know His strength is yours.

***

The words I wrote last night are hollow this morning.

When life is easy we tend to forget how hard it can be and our pipe dream ideas mean nothing if they can’t be believed in the tough times.

Learning to lean on the inner strength (which is God) outwardly manifests itself in everything we do. Inner umpf protects us from outer problems.



cravings

To see the sacred in the ordinary days.

To feel joy in small things.

To know contentment all ways.

These are the things I crave!

realizations

Why am I weak when

God is strong?
Why do I try to control when only
God can?
Why do I give up rather than give in to
God?
Why do I worry and fret when
God can handle it all for me?
Why do I keep asking the same dumb questions when
God has all the answers.
Why do I question circumstances or situations when
God has reasons.
Why can’t I just take it with
God’s help?

present living/winter dreams

If you must relive the past then think of all the good times.

 Recount all the blessings.

If you must obsess over the future…

dream of all the wonderful times to come.

Plan for good memories to be made.

Today, this moment is all you can physically handle, change or direct…make it what counts,

what you want to be…

one of joy, peace, contentment.

(image is 5X7 canvas for mystery art event; I call it winter beach)

journal pages and discoveries about the present

The real truth is I want my old life back. The truth is it is no longer an option. This is now. My life. One of endless caregiving…appointments…errands…chores…visits…pep talks…encouragement…prayer…and little sleep.



A positive…it’s made me a deeper, more spiritual person and writer…I wish my faith and character were stronger but I’ve allowed old demons to continue to visit me. Old ghosts to haunt me and tired scenarios to stream continually. It’s time to shoot them down. All the bothersome, pain giving, gut wrenching memories that cannot be changed. It’s time to stop dwelling on all the what ifs, whens, shoulda, woulda, coulda and…once and for all focus on this moment. Breathe this breath. Live this minute. Know that you control how to play out this very second. How to react to this present situation, what to choose is in your control.






LIFE IS NOW!

It's always about your F O C U S

Peace eludes a weary mind.

Faith dries in a hurting heart.

Joy evacuates a broken spirit.

Hope deserts a doubtful soul.

Staying in the present is to out last the negative with the next halted breath or the next skipped heartbeat.

People do not do what they are advised.

Life is a conundrum.

Many days are good but just as many are bad.

Troubles attack and blessings abound simultaneously.

We miss happiness by focusing on the bad. And we overreact to the negatives while underemphasizing the positive.

We lose the present joys by paying too much attention to the past and over thinking the future.

(THE BIGGER PROBLEM is to figure out how to REVERSE OUR FOCUS!)

struggles with the mind, heart, spirit and soul

Forever changed

She struggles

Doubtful moments

Faith struggles

Lost ways

Sanity struggles

Wandering spirit

Life struggles

Blessings continue

Spirit rebounds

God speaks

She listens

Hope returns

Soul revives

Love abounds

Life restores

All repeat

(new art journal finished, will be sharing next few days)

LiFe, bAlanCe & BreaThing