LiFe, bAlanCe & BreaThing

Take a personal day....

Alone I break down.

Tears come out of dry sockets.

Life is daunting.

I may not survive.

My brain cells are dying.

My organs are wearing out.

My hopes are vanishing.

My dreams are disintegrating.

My faith is diminishing.

BUT…

My God is unchanging.

it's A L W A Y S up to Y O U!

Peace is a choice. Make it.

Courage is a gift. Open it.

Faith is a privilege. Use it.

Hope is a grace. Enjoy it.

Love is a pleasure. Share it.

Joy is a blessing. Give it.

Choosing the P R E S E N T

I cannot change a person but I can choose to accept them. I cannot change all situations but I can choose my reaction. I cannot be everything to everyone all the time but I can choose to do what I can when I can for as long as I can. I cannot fix dire situations but I can choose not to worry over it.

I have a choice and privilege….

To stay in the present

How I behave

Where I go

What my attitude is

How I take care of myself

How I care for others

Who I want to be

What I say and think

To be happy

Art Therapy

Life is full of twists and turns but if we stay

with the present then we know the joy of now.

Troubles come and go but good can still be experienced

if we stay in the hope of now.

Problems occur but prayers are still answered;

 thank God for now.

Every day has its own challenges but staying

in the present moment and dealing is the gift of now.

Finding grace, believing in love and

choosing the presence of good is the mercy of now.

Making it with God

No day is a bad day if

God is with you.

No life is too difficult if

God is with you.

No situation is too hard if

God is with you.

No person is too much to handle if

God is with you.

No problem is too big if

God is with you.

help for present troubles

another night of little sleep

God is my strength

my thoughts are dark

God is my light

letting go of past and future demons

God is my present help

struggling with unnecessary fear

my faith is in God

battling the same old wars

God is my peace

fearing the worse

God is my best

trouble may fill my thoughts but

God fills my spirit

(sharing a series of ink and watercolors over notes from NOW by Richard Singer, Jr.; quote is his, “You and you alone have the choice and the ability to either torture yourself for being human or forgive yourself for your mortality and imperfection.“

Present=Now and other Notes from the Inner Demon

Found a great book at the Library (NOW by Richard Singer Jr.) full of help with my 2012 PRESENT focus word. If I could only find some energy for life daily….(I will be sharing much I learn from this book!)
Dying from the inside out


Soul is heavy


Spirit is breathless


Heart is broken


Mind is warped


Is there any hope

God comforts the depressed. 11 Corinthians 7:6
Getting through the holiday my peaceful spirit is upset. My mind overflows with pathogens robbing me of all joy. God is there but my sight is dying. Taking a deep breath I barely live. Fear looms at me and I grasp for God’s hand to not go under. Scripture speaks to me but I must force it into my spirit. Prayers afford me a sounding board but my words feel like a failure. Friends and family try to support me but they do not understand my weary soul, fatigued sleepless body and hopeless spirit.
I guess I’ll hit bottom before I can rise from the ashes. I just don’t know if I’ll even make it to the bottom before my being gives up and gives into the demons all around me.


I tell myself just get through this breath, this one tick of the clock but it becomes increasingly difficult.
I know the problem has to do with worry over mom and dad. What will happen next? I still need to learn much to live this moment…and get through this one breath and heartbeat.

simple words

Do what you must.

Endure.

Believe what matters.

Care.

Accept what is necessary.

Live.

Got the distance.

Persist.

Trust your inner guide.

Pray.

Know your own power.

Hope.

Assert your strength.

Faith.

Random Thoughts

If there were four of me maybe:



• I could get it all done, make everyone happy and still not destroy myself.


• I could be content with life and want to live forever as I am.


• I could know all that I need to know in order to really live and not just survive.


• I could find myself, my purpose, my dreams and my hopes and my maybe be whole again.



The present must be dealt with, accepted and appreciated but art is my wonderful escape. It’s affordable therapy. Ideas, hopes and dreams are explored. Life is better understood and lived.


Why the hell can’t life be a movie? A happy ending every couple hours with previews of more good scenes in between? A beautiful starlet and handsome leading man? A plot that solves in three acts?


Focusing on the present. Living for today doesn’t mean I do silly dangerous stuff. It does mean I let go of all the silly worries and troubles of the past. Trusting they are past and not necessarily going to repeat in the future. However, neither does the future have to hold unwarranted problems. Why worry about what happened in the past or may happen tomorrow? Now is all we hold. All we have control over and all we can react on. Believe in the strength that has gotten you this far and the strength God will give you tomorrow.


I know things could be worse but I’m just tired of so much in my life right now that fatigues me. I told an art acquaintance that art is my stress reliever…and it is…it takes lots away….


Art is a very present activity even though it engages thoughts of past lessons and future dreams, it takes lots of current supplies and ideas…making it is a kind of therapy that many and time cannot buy….

----

what goes on in the mind

When I still myself

My world caves in around me.

I feel, see, and hear all that is wrong.

When I stay busy and over do

I feel the pain but keep going till I drop.

I know, understand and accept all that is wrong.

When I pray and ask for help

My life finds balance and hope.

I believe, trust and realize all that is wrong but

I also feel, see and hear all that is right.

Reviewing past Word Focus!

shadow and light

if color were medicine

Time to allow SELF CARE

Constantly torn from pillar to post….

                                   Meeting everyone’s needs but our own.
                           It’s time to put ourselves on our own agenda and


                 find time to meet our own needs and do what makes us happy.


                                       It’s okay to take time for ourselves.


          We don’t even have to wait until everyone and everything else is taken care of.

Every DAY!

Everyday Christ is born in our hearts if we believe.

Everyday Christ’s gifts are given to us if we accept them.

Everyday Christ grows and learns if we do.

Everyday Christ baptizes us along with himself into a life of obedience.

Everyday Christ answers prayers as we pray.

Everyday Christ converts our hearts as we convert our ways.

Everyday Christ forgives our sins as we forgive ourselves and transform our spirits.

Everyday Christ follows us into the wilderness where we wander.

Everyday Christ rides into our world when we are watching and waiting and waving our palms in praise.

Everyday Christ washes our feet and serves us as we allow Him to take the lead of our lives.

Everyday Christ dies on the cross for the sins we commit.

Everyday Christ rises from the dead to take us into eternity with Him.

Everyday Christ’s church is born out the fire that we allow Him to ignite in our souls.

Everyday Christ, the Father and Holy Spirit reign in our hearts when we love them.

Everyday Christ wants to have our love, devotion, service and prayers.

Every D A Y!

Every day starts a new year! That was this morning's revelation during devotions. Since this date will not come for another whole year, you have my permission to declare every day New Year's Day! Make the most of it. Relish it! Live it! Forget past missteps and tomorrow's crises. Today, as the Bible tells us has its own worries (Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.) Each day has enough trouble of its own.. Deal with this moment and you can make it to the next and the next and so on. This is a short post but full of great things to think on!

Layers

How does life unfold?

one layer at a time

with days of hope and

nights of fears.

dreams realized and

others squashed.

Today shoulc be our only concern.

Tomorrow should remain a dream of possibility.

Yesterday should be memories of good times and challenges conquered.

2012 Word Focus

My word focus* for 2012 is PRESENT.



Not a gift but now, today, in the moment….


I have wasted much of my life worrying over what has happened and may happen, dreading the negative past and experiences that may reoccur. Fearing what if “X” happens is a constant issue. I have obsessed over bad things forever and the worst things I have experienced have been fairly mild compared to what could have happened. Recently while going through a difficult time I couldn’t move away from, I kept telling myself that all I must do is deal with the present moment and all the others would take care of themselves.


As a successful worrier I hope this word focus will help me learn a new method of dealing with life’s turmoil. As usual I have researched this word and found a few great thoughts and quotes on the subject which I will share now and as we go into and through the new year.


• Life unfolds in the present.


• Mindfulness is a way to focus on the present.


• Living in the present takes practice.


• Being in the moment forces us to no overthink (worry, obsess…)


• Relish the now of your life and worries dissolve.


• Breathe.


• Self-control is enhanced when you stay in the present.


• Accept what is happening in the moment, don’t add your own spin on what it may become or why it happened at all.


• Much is out of your control anyway.


• Your thoughts don’t have to materialize.


• Dwelling on the past or future is futile and useless.


• Present living makes things clear, calm and positive.






Quotes:






“I have known a great many troubles but most of them never happened.” Mark Twain


“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” Cherokee Proverb


“Rejoice in the things that are present; all else if beyond thee.” Montaigne


“Yesterday is history; tomorrow is mystery; and today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” Babatunde


“if you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” Unknown


“we crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday, and fear of tomorrow.” Fulton Oursler


“When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.” Unknown

* word focus is used by many in place of resolutions. it doesn't necessarily mean you conquer the task any easier than a resolution but it makes you examine a part of your life maybe ignored or neglected before the focus.

year end thoughts

At year’s end as I review…I realize many blessings…

surviving fears and dreads;

keeping parents in spite of health issues;

having my son return to NC with a reasonable distance to home and acquiring a good job in his field of expertise after a long journey both professionally and emotionally;

having a husband of 31 years continue to love and cherish me;

having supportive friends;

and the good grace of God over us all…..