Day 88 Recovery for whom?

Recovery continues, not only for Dad but Mom and me as well. She admits to still crying every night. Everyday annoyances and daily details are still a challenge. Keeping it all together is wearing us both down. Recovery for stroke patients can take up to 2 years. I think for the family as well. A stroke not only attacks the victim's brain but the victim's and family's body, heart, mind, soul and spirit. Without scripture, prayers, and journaling....well, not only would I not be writing this but I would also not be here. Space is needed. Time is necessary. Hope is eternal.

alone

coming unglued

no where to hide

except in Thee oh Lord

desperate

breaking apart

lost and confused

except with Thee oh Lord

spent

emotionally paralyzed

blind and mute

except to Thee oh Lord

vacant

completely empty

failing helplessly

no net to catch me

except You oh Lord

Day 55 continued....through the eyes of....

Everyone who knows a person who had a stroke sees it differently. Doctors see a case. A name. A person who suffered great loss and must face the possibility of not recovering, a family that must face facts. Nurses sometimes see the same thing but often with more compassion. They see the family daily and know that they have fears and hopes and their own confusion caused by an unexpected illness. I see Dad's stroke as a horrible injustice to a God-fearing, faithful, servant of God, husband, and father. I see a fearful of loss situation causing many mixed emotions, pain and fatigue. Will he fully recover to be home with Mom and live a somewhat normal though cautious life for more years to come? Through Mom's eyes it's a scary "What if I lose him?" event and the "Why him? Why me?" thoughts. A woman of age and dementia who still does not fully realize the complete cost of such an occurrence to the body of a man who was always her strength and protector. But DAD! How must it look through his eyes, experiencing it, feeling it, being confused by it? Does he know what happened? Does he know how bad it was? Does he know how far he's come? Does he realize how much work is still ahead? Does he have enough fight left for the remainder of his journey? Do any of us?

Through God's eyes, He sees a man of quiet strength who can truly grow stronger in his faith, closer to his maker and inspire others who observe the journey.

Diversions can be relaxing! Balance!

Doing an online workshop on Vision Journaling over at http://collagediva.typepad.com/

It's still not too late to sign up. The first lesson is in relaxation. Trying to relax is never easy for me and especially now while my Dad is in Day 55 recovering from a stroke. I have been writing and art journaling the whole process on my blog here; so this workshop will hopefully further the recovery for me. One thing people don't tell you about strokes...the family is in recovery too! I've posted my first vision journal piece here in this post. This just may be what I need. First, we must realize we need relaxation and are not getting adequate amounts. Then we need a good kick in the pants to make it happen. Thanks Kathryn!

(The face and picture of Kiawah sunrise are mine. Stamped words are mine. Using a watercolor bound book for these prompts. Paints are acrylic and watercolor and distress ink.)