Sunday, December 17, 2017

Years of Happy

Christmas approaches rapidly. I have the small stuff left to do…but I feel the crunch…BUT I want to enjoy this time of year that has always been sacred, joyful, and magical all at the same time. I am missing mom and dad and I will on Christmas. It will be real then. They are gone but they are in the ultimate place of joy, holy and peace (above earth). Maybe not above, but just beside us in a totally different realm. They will be with me. They will be in my heart. They will be in our spirit. I will honor them with thought and memories of all the wonderful ones we shared.
·         The year I wanted a monkey and dump truck
·         The year I remember the tree at my Grandma Fannie’s with all the tinsel
·         The year mom and I sat in the car waiting for dad to lock up before going to church, I knew he was sneaking mom’s barstools in from the front porch and she knew he was slipping in my TV
·         The year we left the color wheel turning on the silver tree and it stuck and melted while at church
·         The year dad and I went to his grandpa Felix (my great grandpa) to get aunt Kat’s door prize and brought her back to get ours (about 4 in the morning)
·         That same year I had a tape recorder and have my great grandpa’s voice on it, years later my dad wanted to hear it again; I found a place online in Pennsylvania who was able to put that old reel to reel on a CD, best gift I ever gave my dad, cost me $100 and it was worth every penny
·         The first year Terry and I were married
·         The first Christmas with Matthew
·         The year Matthew got his first bike
·         The year he didn’t like the idea of a birthday cake for Jesus, because he thought it was like eating Jesus
·         They first Christmas with Matthew and Molly

These are only a few memories of so many wonderful ones. I continue to be blessed to have people I love with me each Christmas. Recognizing the true spirit of Christmas, celebrating Christ’s birth, being with loved ones and sharing good food and time with each other.

I admit I still look for a perfect Christmas movie Christmas but the truth is I have had many of them.

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

a star led them

they followed a star
brightly shining in the night
leading to a family of three
where love was born and
peace was found

Tuesday, December 05, 2017


Each year for about a dozen years, I have chosen a focus word rather than resolutions. I choose something I need to work on, something I’m weak in, or something I am led to which can help me grow. I have chosen faith, prayer, thankful, resilient, hope, joy, and clarify, to name a few. Strangely, near year’s end, I start seeing a particular word here and there and everywhere. It never fails. I am led to the word.

For 2017 I chose determined.  As I study and research and practice these words, I seek quotes about it that teach me something. I look for Bible verses and devotions that fit the word and also enlighten me. I have never felt extremely strong to deal with challenges and problems but the past several years have proved me wrong. This year has maybe been my hardest. It always seems to be the current situation that is worse but dealing with mom and her final stage of Alzheimers was very difficult.  The year is nearly over. Mom is gone. I began with the “determination” to make it through. With a few weeks left, I have learned I can be a determined woman who is stronger than she realized. I can deal with situations I once thought would break me. Actually thought they could finish me.
Since a child I have had a nervous stomach. Since the eighties, I have dealt with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), the D kind. Diarrhea to be honest. In the beginning I lost lots of weight from not eating much. Someone asked me if I did Weight Watchers. I told them I had IBS. They understood. I take medication for the IBS, as well as some nerve and depression meds to keep my system calm. I often know how to head off situations by controlling what I eat and when. The weight came back unfortunately, mostly due to menopause, thyroid and age. Well, maybe this is TMI but I felt the urge to share more of my truth here. My truth can help others deal with their own truth.

Back to my word, determination, I have been extra determined as of late to be strong, spiritually, physically and mentally. Getting through the long hard years, taking care of mom and dad, has proven it. There were days I really thought I would not make it. With determination and God’s grace and mercy, I did. There will be more challenges. Life is full of them. God will see me through.

Monday, December 04, 2017

Psalm 91:11

Christmas Beckons as Fall subsides

Acorns tap dance on the neighbor’s tin roof
Leaves of red and gold waltz against a blue sky
Autumn’s dance contest is always a winner
Bon fire smoke drifts through the air
Pumpkin pie spice is everywhere
Autumn scents create wondrous perfumery
Crows caucus in the nearby field
Mocking birds mimic the current hits
Autumn jingles serenade waiting fans
Hope’s lullaby gives comfort to loss
Faith’s sonnet lends contentment to mourners
Autumn concludes a season of grief

Sunday, December 03, 2017

a prayer

Use me Lord.
Give me your guidance.
Show me what I do wrong, gently.
Help me know what you expect of me.
Bless my life and family to be together for a long time.
Create a purpose for me to live out my days.
Allow me to bless others and inspire a better world.