Wednesday, May 27, 2015

a woman's plight


What I wrote recently is so true. If I could work 8 hours a day with no interruptions I could make more head way. And if I had a studio away from home I could do this. And if I had money I could do this. And if I were really willing to put me and my art first I COULD DO THIS.  But I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I’m a daughter with a mom with Alzheimer.

 

 Thus goes every woman’s dilemma. Job or husband. Job or child. Job or family. Choices. Decisions. Roles. Tradition. Life. I am trying to use my skills and talent for God. I’m trying to do all I can with my art for me without stepping on anyone else. It’s hard to not be totally selfish when you have this drive to create and be imaginative. I used it as a wife and mother but now I just want to create for the sake of creating and finding new ways to do things that have been done for years.  How can I make the figure of a woman in today’s society be interesting and intriguing? How can I do it without copying someone else? How can I find a “fresh” look? It takes lots of practice, dedication, experimentation and time. That word is often the woman’s number one adversary or ally. TIME. She either has lots of it or little at all for her own needs, pursuits and interests. So how can she possibly improve on talent? How can she grow as an artist? How can she become ALL she wants to become? It is the 21st century. It is possible for a woman to do it all. But no one has more than 24 hours per day. No one has total control over those 24 hours and no one is able to be selfish with those hours without having others question her choices and decisions. The plight of woman has always been this way. Is this really 2015? Are we still living down the street from the Cleavers? I’m just not sure. I wish someone could explain it to me. To the world. If a woman has a career, she is supposed to be doing it for the good of the family or stay single and do what she wishes. But even with that she eventually faces other obligations. Family needs. Aging parents or aunts or siblings. Sadly, many times women do all these obligatory things and by the time she has her life to herself, alone, she is either too old, too sick or worn out with nothing left for her own interests.

 

 
Relic

never too old or too tired




my body may be fading but my creativity continues to flourish and grow and find validation...look for my Relics series in a future Somerset Studios....I'm so excited!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Saturday, May 23, 2015

roots, wings and words



If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be. – Unknown

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

everyone has their own cross to bear

 
 

God sets me free

I bind myself to doubt

God sets me free

I gag myself from truth

God sets me free

I imprison myself with guilt

God sets me free

I chain myself to fear

God sets me free

I confine myself to worry

God sets me free

I lock out his love

God sets me free

I bridle myself from faith

God sets me free

I suppress hope

 

Why do I do this? Who do I allow bad things to kill my spirit? Why am I stuck in this routine I hate? Why don’t I jump off the carrousel? Nearly 5 months gone and no real clarity except to understand it takes effort and must be found through God. Maybe it’s a life-long process but why do we not learn our lessons earlier in life when we have years to perfect it? Such is life—a learning process.


 

Psalm 39:4 show me O Lord … let me know how fleeting life is. [Will it matter or will I just keep wasting time?]

 

I know the past 6 years have stolen 10+ but can I recover? Only if I give it my all and allow God to do the work within me.

Saturday, May 09, 2015

Happy Mother's Day

 
top to bottom, left to right
my mother Vember as a young girl, mom and me at Christmas,
me and my son Matthew, and my daughter-in-law Molly and her mom Lisa
 
How truly blessed we are!

Friday, May 08, 2015

Pray and study to get life!




Today’s and yesterday’s devotions are crammed with God’s goodness. I can barely contain it!

 From THE UPPER ROOM:

“The mind governed by flesh is death, but the mind governed by the spirit is life and peace. “ Romans 8:6

“Life gives us many choices the choices we make about what to think shape our self-image, our personality, our view of the world, and our way of dealing with life’s difficulties…God’s love can overcome my despair.”

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

“Prayer is something we all can do for the kingdom of God no matter our age or situation.”

 
From DAILY GUIDEPOSTS:

“He leadeth me beside still waters…HE RESTORETH MY SOUL” Psalm 23: 2-3

“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

“Sometimes we best commune with God by being quiet…by leaning back and abiding in God’s presence.

 From DAILY WORD:

“I create my own joy (through God)…joyfulness is a choice. I know my thoughts can affect my feelings.”

“God is the source of my safety. ..God assures all my needs are fully met, I am whole, protected and complete for as the Gospel some goes, ‘there is no spot where God is not.’ I am free.”

 
Trying to get a copy of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath from the library. May have to order. She was a depressed creative writer who committed suicide. I have been so close so often and then devotions like those above change me completely. Where is the fine line between life and death? Could it be purpose? Did she not have a purpose? Do I? I know I do yet some days are so difficult. People have had much more difficult days than me and survived with their faith intact. Does Billy Graham ever feel down? Did Mother Teresa?  What is the secret? Prayer, scripture, support from other believers. Why is that still not enough some days?

 Lord, I am trying so hard to be faithful, strong and diligent in my belief. God, I know you are here with me. I know you have always been there and always will. I love you. I want to see you in every situation. I want to feel you with every emotion. I want to trust you with all my life. I want to listen for your guidance. I want to taste your goodness. I want to smell your sweetness. I want to share your love. I want your forgiveness. I want a new start at a new and better life.  Thank you for all the blessings and forgiveness already bestowed on me. I love you Father. Amen.

 
Early summer-like breezes freshen my spirit.

Blue skies calm my soul.

Sunshine lights my way.

God’s grace saves my life.

 

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

With God’s grace, most definitely!

 
 

….when a love one dies or is sick we question our own existence, blessings and feelings.

 

Can I still dream of things I’d like to do?

Can I still imagine wonderful things?

Can I still hope for perfect days?

Can I still pretend everything is awesome?

Can I still believe in happily ever after?

Can I still expect a good life?

Can I still hope for artistic goals to be achieved?

Can I still be happy?

Can I still strengthen myself in body, mind and spirit?

Can I still increase my faith?

Can I still have wishes fulfilled?

Can I still find calm and peace?

Can I still have prayers answered?

Can I still have reason to smile and laugh?

Can I still live my life?

Can I still enjoy and accept love?

Can I still be me?

bloom and collage where your are