Saturday, August 23, 2014

be ready...ah ha moments are everywhere

Gail Sheehy in Passages says "constant caregiving had displaced my religious upbringing...without a lively faith I was being overtaken by fear"
like Lucy from Peanuts said to Schroder in a Charlie Brown Christmas, THAT'S IT!"

It explains what happened the day Dad had a stroke on May 31, 2009 and Mom's dementia worsened.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

to go or not

do I get my Kiawah, take mom and pray all goes well or do I give it up and stay in comfort zone. Life is just so complicated while caregiving. I need it but will it help or hurt issues?

Friday, August 15, 2014

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

prayers should be honest, God already knows our mind and heart



I ask you honestly to forgive my sins of anger, doubt and selfishness. I praise you for all the power, beauty, creativity, and blessings you bestow again and again.

I thank you for all the good in my life and truthfully plead for you to granny my needs at this moment; remove my pain (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual), help me get Mom 24/7 care by Medicaid or whatever you see fit to grant. I can’t do this indefinitely AND I’d sure like it to happen before Kiawah, taking her will be difficult and not a vacation for me. Give Matthew and Molly a nice long happy life. Give Terry and me some years of health, joy and passion.

In your son, Christ’s name,


PS I don’t know how long I can keep taking care of Mom. Help her accept what comes.

Lord, I’m on my deck with you, coffee and a sweet treat, first in several days. It’s damp but cool. Of course you know that.

I’m begging again for answers for mom, solutions for the family and hope for all who suffer the sorrow of dementia. It’s so hard. Three months is forever with dementia for the demented and the caregiver, in this case both mother and daughter, but of course you know that.

I praise you and your word that gives comfort to all who hurt when trouble and sadness strike but of course you know that.

I thank you for all the good years and blessings with Mom. She’d thank you if she could and maybe she does in her own way but of course you know that.


PS I’d appreciate your expedient reply to these needs but of course you know that.

Monday, August 04, 2014

God never leaves us

a torrent of sounds inside and out
peace can dwell in either
joy too
it's my choice
free will given by God
a restless time but God is comfort
a scary time but God is my courage
a busy time but God is my strength
I will live for now in His love