Sunday, November 19, 2017

life is funny but sometimes it works



I'm 62 today and I thank my sweet mom for my life, all she taught me to be and all she sacrificed for me. I love you Mom!


 
 
been working on this a couple days
guess it's as good a time as any to share
 
I walked through raining leaves of rust and gold.
Memories ran down my face.
                                                                   I hummed an old hymn.                                                                     
The melody danced around my heart.
I felt God’s grace in my broken soul.
Psalms restored me.
I finally felt whole in my life.
God’s faithfulness put me back together.
 

Saturday, November 18, 2017

thoughts of never again

never again will I get bad news about my parents
never again will I cringe at a certain phone number
never again will I worry over my parents' health
never again will I doubt they are happy
never again will I wonder what they need
never again will I wonder if I'm doing enough for them
never again will I feel life is unfair to them
never again will I be sad for their limited life
never again will I ask why they had to age

some never-agains are good

Thursday, November 16, 2017

release and receive

 
releasing your mom is necessary to receive her as you angel mom

Monday, November 13, 2017

light

 
 

 

Life weary

I am tired but

God holds me and I rest in his embrace if only to the end of this sentence

 

Lost and broken

I need repair but

God glues the pieces of my life together again with his super glue of divine love

 

Hurt and questioning

I still feel confused but

God has the balm and the answers to both

 

Dark and scared

I tremble but

God is my light and protection

Saturday, November 11, 2017

to my favorite veterans

 
Broadus Lee Quinn, Korean War

 
Harry Sims Tessnear, WWII
 
thanks guys
the Army made you who you are

Thursday, November 09, 2017

Wednesday, November 08, 2017


tiny step by tiny step
I try to walk by faith
inch by inch
I try to move by trust
grace by grace
I try to shift by hope
 
 

Monday, November 06, 2017

God can


God can:

Eradicate sin and replace with goodness

Eliminate fear and increase faith

Stop dread and allow looking forward

Remove darkness and unleash light

Release strongholds and replace with fresh mercies

Restore faith and fortify life

Replenish blessings with unbelievable grace

Cultivate love and grow empathy

Teach compassion and demonstrate caring

Encourage forgiveness and promote charity

Sunday, November 05, 2017

i am ok but it's time to educate people about Alzheimers Disease


Everyone keeps checking in to see if I’m okay. Is it weird that I am okay? I don’t think I’m too broken because I was already broken from the past years dealing with her health, mind, decline and so forth. I had already lost my mother. She wasn’t dead but she could no longer really communicate, respond or participate in life with me.

Yes, I miss her terribly but I have for quite some time. I did not have a mother for the last six years or so. She was already with Alzheimer when dad had his stroke. The decline sped up after dad died and the last couple years.

 
I read somewhere today that once you have Alzheimer you continue to decline until death. That’s exactly what happened. It’s a sad cruel disease. It sneaks up on you stealing little thoughts and memories. Then it begins to steal days and eventually people, even your own family and best friends. Then it removes your abilities to dress yourself, feed yourself and at some point interest in food is gone completely. What surprises many people, is why Alzheimer kills; it is the simple reason that the brain is the computer of a body. It tells the body how to move, the lungs to breathe, the tongue and throat how to chew and swallow and for heart to pump blood through the body. We take our bodies for granted. God is a masterful artist, scientist, designer, and creator.


If only God could tell us how to cure it. For years my family was terrified of cancer. They wouldn’t even say the word. Now, every time someone forgets something, they say, “It’s not that. I don’t have it.”  Sadly, one of mom’s two remaining sisters is following the same pattern. She can’t see it. She doesn’t want to start the medicine. She doesn’t want to think about it, if she can.

 
This is the many faces of Alzheimer.

       


                                        terror          dissatisfaction      manic               disinterested

 

 

Emotions change rapidly and caregiving takes love, patience and understanding. The caregiver goes through the same emotions as the afflicted. I don’t think I should share these photos but I must. People need to understand the horror of Alzheimers Disease.

Friday, November 03, 2017

comfort in God's word

 
the family continues to heal and live with loss
the family leans on God and his word
the family prays
the family checks in on each other
the family sticks together

Thursday, November 02, 2017

Written for me to share



if you aren't familiar with the ee cummings poem (I carry your heart), please read it.....

Wednesday, November 01, 2017

reflections after Mom's passing

 
 

Life weary

I am tired but

God hold me and I rest in his embrace if only to the end of this sentence

 

Lost, broken

In need of repair but

God can glue the pieces of my life together with his own super glue

 

Hurt, questioning

I am still confused by life but

God has the balm and answers to every pain and inquiry

 

Dark, scared

I tremble but

God is my light and protector

Monday, October 30, 2017

trying to heal




with the Joy-Fall time of year
through
art,
prayer,
and
faith

Saturday, October 28, 2017

How much can the human heart take?

Mom has barely been put to rest. I have barely caught my breath. Another loss, her brother passed this morning after a battle with brain cancer. Had his heart broken? Did he lose his spirit? Was he just tired like mom and no longer able to fight?

God knows all the answers. God has the peace. God has the love.
We must keep the faith.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

we are healing

and mom is healed......


 
 
 
the little boy in HEAVEN IS FOR REAL
says everyone is young in heaven........

Friday, October 20, 2017

today

My mom passed today. I was not with her but her sisters were. it was an easy passing. She is now with dad and all the others missed for so long.

 
Vember Christine Allred Quinn
October 11, 1929 - October 20, 2017
 
Rest in peace dear mother

Friday, October 13, 2017

a Mother's light dims


My mother is dying. (We are from the first breath but by this I mean soon.) Mom is now receiving Hospice care at Carillon Assisted Living and Garden Place memory care. I pray this is good especially with me going to Kiawah for a week. I also pray that she doesn’t pass while I’m gone. I’m glad we have this opportunity. This will be good for me going into this last journey with mom. I may get the pre-respite I need for the long haul. Hospice comes in when the person seems to be within 6 months of death. I know this is inevitable. I’ve known it for some time. As I read the Hospice booklet of grief and the end, I now know that some of the things I’ve noticed were not imaginary. When she stares into space she may be seeing a glimpse of heaven, loved ones already there or the proverbial “white light.” I also know that some of her pained looks are the pains of the body shutting down. Her tears are sadness over uncertainty and leaving this world. The smiles are glimpses of the joys still found in this life and the beauty of heaven above.

 

Some may wonder why I did not cancel my trip. Well, only God knows when her last day will be. I do need to find some peace that can carry over to the end. I have also had so much pain and trouble and fear and anger over the past eight years caring for Dad and Mom. God knows what was, what is coming, and what will be. I trust that God. His grace is a gift I have received many times over. His mercy is fresh every day. His love is constant.

 

Mom has had a long life. She has had many wonderful blessings: a loving family (mother and father), two sisters and three brothers, a loving husband for nearly sixty years who preceded her in death, a daughter who cared for her well-being and happiness, and a grandson who adored her and numerous friends who wanted to be close. She worked hard in textiles to care for her family and put her daughter through college. Music was her other great love. She played by ear most of her life but took lessons in later years. She worked in her garden, rooting roses even. She received her high school diploma the same year she retired, a life-long goal.

A faithful believer, she prayed and recited the 23rd Psalm daily. She taught Sunday school and sang in choirs. She attended women’s ministries. She supported her family with Christian teaching and advice. She was a listener, encourager, and adviser to many. When the light that is a mother dims, the daughter’s dims as well.

 

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

My beautiful Mother!

She is 88 today. She has Alzheimers. She is still very sweet and always happy to see me which is great comfort to me. She is on the Alz hall at Carillon (a wonderful memory care facility).
 
 

Thursday, October 05, 2017

Sunday, October 01, 2017

Fall Bullet List

 
·         We are all invited to sit at Christ’s table.
·         Don’t think you can
·          understand it all this side of heaven.
·         Everything happens according to God’s plans.
·         Trust God with your life and everything will be good. (Not perfect) but very god!
·         Enjoy the blessings of each day.
·         Have hot coffee in the warm sun on a chilly fall day.
·         Stare at the blue sky and marvel. Look straight up. God’s canopy is amazing.
·         Thank God often. (Write him a letter and leave it somewhere.)
·         Express God’s love in simple ways to those in need.
·         Worship God outdoors.
·         Forgive and accept forgiveness.
·         Read the scriptures and find God’s message for your life.
·         PRAY AND PRAY SOME MORE!
·         Expect miracles.
·         Smile at strangers. Especially  those who aren’t smiling.
·         Hug someone and feel a hug from God.
·         Give an unexpected gift for no occasion.
·         Use your super powers for good.
·         Create something from love and give it away.
·         Find life’s meaning in nature.
·         Make technology a sermon. (Send a text that you prayed for them or send them scripture or quote)

Saturday, September 30, 2017

where your heart is...there is your treasure

 
 
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

anyone can pray

 
When you don't know where to start...
The Lord's Prayer
is there.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Friday, September 15, 2017

Celebrate life!

 
My aunt turned 74 today. She has wanted me to go to Chimney Rock with her for a few years. This time I made time. She had a wonderful time. We both did. Take time with your loved ones before it's too late! She also enjoys singing there. Today she sang God on the Mountain.

His love will overwhelm you!


Sunday, September 10, 2017

Friday, September 08, 2017

God is with us

 
in the storm
and in the calm

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Seek and Speak


God of grace and mercy,
Hear our words.
God of love and peace,
Bless our world.
God of joy and wonder,
Give us favor.
God of hope and strength,
Reveal your answers.
God of earth and heaven,
Amen