Saturday, January 27, 2018

the saints are there for us too

 
God gave us his Son and Bible characters, also saints, to guide us, inspire us, and teach us.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

God's good gifts

I thirst for God's life water.
I hunger for His every word.
I ache for His comfort.
I plead for His peace.
He says, "I'm here. I can give you all you need."
And He does. Every day!
He will for you too.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Grief is a process


 


One more day never comes when you lose someone you love.

One more word is never heard except in your mind.

One more smile is not there except in a thought.

 

Lost, piece by piece, they leave us over a long time.

Last inhale and exhale takes years.

Forgotten memories never happen.

 

Grief cannot be hidden in a drawer and taken out when you choose.

Grief follows you around and taps on your heart at the oddest times.

Grief becomes part of your day to day life.

 

Bereavement is never finished.

Sorrow is a process that follows you to your final day.

Mourning is a new emotion you live with, some days easier than others.

Monday, January 22, 2018

God never leaves us alone

 
 
Three months and nearly two days ago, my mom died. It was an emotional release for us both. I was worn down from the constant worry, fear, on call, and dragged down from the eight years of caregiving from a distance. It was only 50 miles one way but I made so many per week. I made so many late night travels. I lost so much confidence, ability, strength, and energy. I found control issues, anger, and doubt I had no idea was so strong in my psyche. I learned so much about fortitude in mind, spiritual sustenance, and that tiny seed of faith. I got through days I thought would never end. I got through nights that were extremely tiring. I got through weak hope, failing spirit, and lost willpower.
 

I miss mom (and dad, 5 years in April). I don’t miss the pain and discomfort and trouble we all experienced on various levels of life’s journey. I don’t miss the late phone calls, the ER visits, the fears, the dread, and the feeling of carrying the whole load.
 

I still have all these traits in my life. I always did. I still have worries and fears. I still have doubt and anger. I see older couples living a life of busy service and pleasure. I see people doing all they want and enjoying it. I know folks are having worse times. I know families are in dire situations that will never change. I know it’s a pipe dream to live a life trouble free, but for Christians we have the ultimate environment for dealing with lire’s problems.
 

I talk to God all through the day.  I know some days he must think (not again) but he’s there. He listens. He waits for me. He knows me better than I know myself. He gives me strength and peace. He gives me hope and confidence. He shows me the path that will eventually allow me to reconnect with mom and dad in heaven. All my worries and fears will melt away. All my doubts will no longer linger. All my weakness will become strength never imagined. I also know that day will be so awesome I can never believe.
 

Even with all I have gone through and all I have become frustrated with will be gone. I will no longer talk to God defensively. He will tell me the truths I’ve longed to hear. He will share his son and spirit with me visibly. He will no longer say “not again” but rather “finally.”
 

All this is true and real but such a small glimpse of real spiritual life.
 

With all this I miss mom today, not the mom who had no focus beyond her immediate needs, but the mom who listened and encouraged me while caring for her parents, while working full time, and while living through her own struggles. I now just wish I could lean into her feeling her arms around me and her words comfort me. I miss her presence with me. I know God fills that need and surpasses the comfort of a mother but no one truly replaces your mother.
 

Lord, on this day of so many feelings. I ask for your new mercies this morning. I ask for your all-encompassing peace. I plead for your joy in my life. I beg for your care for my husband, son and daughter-in-law; and all my family and friends. People are afraid. People are hurting. People are struggling. I am struggling. I don’t think a believer ever gets to the summit of faith until we finally are with you in heaven’s realm. I know you sit beside me. I know you protect me. I know you love me. I know you are there for me 100% as well as for every other need for everyone who asks.
 

So, here I sit Lord. I am striving to be in your complete will for my life. I am trying to put my own thoughts aside. I am fighting for my life and the lives of those I love most. I am truly trying to let go of this world and grasp your hand and let you pull me out of all these mixed feelings.
 

Forgive my doubts and sins. Show me the way; I am aware of my need for you. Please hold me every second of my life.. Permit me the strength to keep fighting. Allow me to find some peace and joy in my days. Be with each person on my growing and changing prayer list. I will forever praise you and your divine power over my life.
In Christ’s name, Amen.
 
 
 

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

All days

some days
life's fragile state
frightens me
 
other days
a state of grace
overwhelms me
 
 every day
I am grateful
 for God's mercy and love
 
 

Monday, January 15, 2018

my therapy



art and soul
God keeps her whole
heart and song
in God she belongs

spirit and  bliss
always His

Sunday, January 14, 2018

my loving family

 
had a wonderful gathering but
sure did miss Mom and Dad

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

praise God every day




no matter the circumstances

Tuesday, January 09, 2018

circling


circling can be bad if you keep stopping at the negative point
circling can be good if you find a positive place to pause

Monday, January 08, 2018

3 dear friends - grace mercy and peace

 
 

I took the morning for me. I had a slow breakfast and time to rest and enjoy nowhere to go immediately. When I do this I get the fearful feeling something may happen. I don’t think I will ever forget the morning of May 30, 2009. That was the morning we took off time from church. I got the call. Dad was in the ER, unresponsive. He had a stroke. We spent 11 days in Asheville. It was the beginning of the end. I will never lose that weak feeling that life is fragile and we never know what day everything will change. Now that I have lost both parents, I know the next problem will likely be me or Terry.
 
With Christ I will overcome my fears and grace, mercy and peace shall reign.

Sunday, January 07, 2018

Saturday, January 06, 2018

Clearance

Clearance sale means all sales final.
I walk down the aisles of Any Store USA.
Christmas is 75% off.
Valentines are available.
Better choose quickly.
Easter eggs lay by the check out.
I'm flustered, confused, and somewhat ready to walk out.
 
When did we stop celebrating and start shopping sales?
When did we stop realizing the truth of a season and start finding a deal?
When did we stop being Christian and start being consumers?
When will we see a sign that says:
 
Clearance Sale:
Grace is free
Accept it
Share it
Give it
Take it
One size fits all

don't give up




I must find peace with myself. I must find peace with others.

I must realize my many blessings. I must share my many blessings.

I must push myself to not give in to age and weaknesses. I must push to encourage others who need it.

I must be happy. I must help others be happy.

I must be the strength. I must help others see their strength.

Helping others help ourselves.

Why do I have these brief moments of perfect contentment and joy? How do I get more of them? How do I have them daily? How do I find my peace with every breath? How do I use my faith with each situation? How do I find the answer to these questions without sounding ungrateful? How do I express my appreciation for all the moments of contentment, joy, peace and gratitude regardless of the length, frequency, or potency? When do I realize that it’s always my choice? When do I understand that the length, frequency or potency is unimportant? True contentment is to be chosen despite the situation. Paul told us that in the Bible. Real joy is found in loving God and abiding in his love. Peace is available no matter the drama. Faith grows when challenged and everyone is challenged but how you deal with the challenge is your choice. Pray, trust, believe and know the power of God. Have all the contentment and joy you want just by being content in Christ and find joy in his presence, his complete all abiding presence no matter the time or condition.

 

Friday, January 05, 2018

God is with you. Abide with him.


At your feet Lord, I lay my burdens;

For I know you alone can get them lessened.

My heart and soul lighten;

My spirit finds mercy.

My life is calmer’

Because Jesus can handle what I cannot.

Fears subside.

Grace abides.

Love permeates

I need not wait.

At your feet Lord, I lay my burdens;

For I know you alone makes things better.

Amen

Thursday, January 04, 2018

abiding in a new place



a brand new year, a brand new challenge…ABIDING in God sounds so simple, especially with current circumstances, no parents to care for, reasonably healthy husband, son, daughter-in-law and self, but it is not.

I will not give up. God is my abode.

I will not quit. God is my catapult.

I will not stop trusting. God is my protector.

I will not ignore. God is point of focus.

I will not fail. God is my success.

 
God is with me even when I don’t seek his presence. That is my comfort and that is my place of peace, joy, hope, love, and faith.
 
Here I lay it all out for God. This is what I strive for in the next three hundred sixty three days.

Terry – hope, health, peace and tranquility.

Matthew – purpose, peace, confidence, mended relationships, health, strength of God’s almighty power.

Molly – health, family, work, life, contentment with all

Opal – health and meds for Alzheimer, peace, calm mind

Wayne – health, understanding, encouragement, assistance

Rosie – health, music opportunities

Marvin – health

Betty U – health and happiness

Buck – health and peace of mind and body

Gail – health, pain free, strength

Carolyn – health, peace, strength, healing heart

Betty H – health, pain free, peace

Camille – health, breathing, family, retirement choices

Debbie – family, health, peace, joy

Phipps – health, peace, understanding, supportive

Tracy – health and happiness

Church – unity and God driven, Scripture believing

World – peace and back to God for all things

Ann Ballard – health and family

Myra Martin – cancer, healing, life

Diane O – healing, pain free, happy

Betty J – health, peace, happy, daughter

Janice C – health, family

Shirley G – health, peace, happy

Pastor Noel – time conscious, scripture driven

Me – health, joy, family peace
 
{computer just slid off couch- shut down but seems ok THANK YOU GOD!}

 

Tuesday, January 02, 2018

Abiding in power to keep on keeping on





Second day of January, a brand new year, a brand new challenge….ABIDING in God sounds so simple, especially with current circumstances but it is not.

I will not give up.

I will not quit.

I will not stop trusting.

I will not ignore.

I will not fail.

God is with me even when I don’t seek his presence. That is my comfort and that is my place of peace, joy, hope, love and faith.

Monday, January 01, 2018

the best gift

is Y O U

I asked for and received BE THE GIFT by Ann Voskamp. if you haven't discovered her, find he on the web now. She has awesome thoughts for you.


 
You can find your balance!