Thursday, November 29, 2012

rusted psyche


My psyche is rusty.

My terrain is corroded.

My site is tarnished.

My environment is blemished.

My subconscious is tainted.

I am a rusted bottle cap.

My mind is the land of ruins.




pieces





Psychological landscape

Playground of the mind

Uncertain terrain

Shaky ground

Brain field

Secret garden of truth

Battlefield of thoughts

Lost land of fear

Mental fog

Emotional scene

Psychosomatic setting

Inner view

Spiritual topography

Unsettled background

Confused terrain


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

desperate prayer

GOD?


Are you still listening?

God,

Do you still love me?

God,

Am I still your child?

God,

Will you truly never leave me nor forsake me?

God,

Will you see me through this time in my life and keep me sane?

God,

Will you help me be the be strong and patient when mom and dad stress me, worry me, frustrate me, scare me and ignore me?

God,

I love you and want to be good and worthy.

God,

I want to find your hope and blessings.

God,

I want to know your mercy and grace.

God,

I want to be able to see this through.

God,

I can’t do it without you.

God,

I bow to your will.

God,

I thank you for all you have already done

AMEN


Sunday, November 25, 2012

hour of the soul


In the wee hours of morning

Answers are clear or

Questions loom

It is the hour of the soul

Before dawn’s early light

Solutions are sought or problems surmount

It is the hour of the soul

In the pitch black at the start of the day

Ideas flow or creativity blocks

It is the hour of the soul




Saturday, November 24, 2012

my inner landscape

My mental landscape is tired.

It wishes to pull down the shades and pull up the covers, disappearing from life.

My mind’s foreground is filled with overgrowth and debris, mostly fear and worries.

My mind’s middle ground is covered in excess and needs pruning, mostly of doubt and despair.

My mind’s background is untidy and missing, full of angry thoughts and uncertainty.

My psychological landscape is in need of a makeover.

I want to simply trim its branches of hate and discontent.

I need to thin out the weeds of unhappiness and morose thoughts.

I need to replant flowers of peace and assurance.

I need to see that love and trust and faith can thrive once again in this messy environment.

It is through dry deserts that God refreshes our thirst for life.

It is in the deep valleys we find our soul’s rest before climbing the next peak.

It is being lost in wilderness that causes us to reflect on a better pathway.

It is the loud crescendos of our life’s landscape that cause us to appreciate and find answers in the quiet interludes of our journey.

It is the dark dry places that lead us toward the light of refreshment.



I long for quiet passages.

I need uneventful stretches.

I crave dull routine.

I desire unexciting days and ordinary nights.








Friday, November 23, 2012

what color is your psychological landscape?

Tested and tried I whine, Oh, God, why me?


Satisfied and complacent I forget Oh God, why me?

Every day should be thanksgiving and thanksliving.

In both good times and bad.

In fat years and lean.

In trials and triumphs.

In hope and despair.

For God never leaves, never stops listening, never stops answering, and never stops loving.



All things come of thee Oh God. All things bright and beautiful.

(inspired by devotionals)

I know I am not the only one who sees the dark parts of the inner landscape.

All feel hopeless and despondent or seasons of their lives.

They try also to find the bright hope of a new day as it colors their skies with new blessings and promises.

Suddenly a gray ominous landscape turns all golden and pink with joy.

The dark clouds part and a great orange ball of possibility rises.

One moment life is overshadowed with dark and if allowed proves no chance of contented joy.

There suddenly the mist clears and the bright light of new found faith reappears.

It is after the season of daunting colorlessness the light seems brighter and more beautiful.

As a Christian I know that when this different season comes to a close, I will find new pleasures and hope for better seasons.

Just like in nature another harsh winter will always come again but there will still be the promise of a new life and spring joy.




Wednesday, November 21, 2012

time for a gratitude reality check

57 things I am thankful for


1. God loves me no matter what.

2. I have a Savior and the Holy Spirit who help me.

3. The Bible

4. My parents love(d) me.

5. My husband loves me.

6. My son loves me.

7. My friends love me.

8. I have two homes paid for.

9. I have three cars paid for.

10. I have plenty to eat and wear.

11. I have abilities and talents.

12. My life is pretty darn good despite the present circumstances.

13. Dad has survived a stroke 3 ½ years.

14. Rathbun House

15. Carepartners

16. Mom can still do some things

17. Matthew is smart, sweet, and a good guy.

18. I have too many friends to name (Camille, Carol, Jane, Jean, Diane, Charlotte, Anne)

19. People value my opinions

20. People think I’m a good listener.

21. My new couch.

22. Kiawah

23. Jonas Ridge

24. Fernwood

25. Books, movies, and stories to escape in.

26. Art (making, viewing, and enjoying)

25. Sunshine by day

26. Moon by night

27. Journaling

28. Big Bang Theory

29. Music

30. Family (aunts, uncles, cousins)

31. Computers

32. Miracles

33. Devotions (Guideposts, Daily Word, The Upper Room)

34. Favorite animals: Birds, cats, dogs, penguins

35. Trees

36. Long walks on the beach and in the woods

37. Digital cameras and photography

38. Watercolor, mixed media art

39. Quiet and alone time

40. Angels

41. Forgiveness

42. Breathing

43. Health

44. My sundeck

45. Role models (Christ, Eugenia, Matthew, and too many to name)

46. The mind and its endless ideas.

47. Scrapbooking

48. Tee shirts and comfortable pants

49. Good neighbors and neighborhoods

50. Church family

51. Libraries

52. Audio books

53. Favorite foods:: chocolate, cheese, vegetables, bread, peanut butter, coffee, and tea

54. Love

55. Hope

56. Peace

57. faith

I am chicken weakling!



The earth holds me up but the sky falls all around me.

I am Chicken Weakling.

My landscape is colorful and bright with dark overtones.

It strengthens me but tries to destroy me.

I am a therapist’s dream client.

My landscape is sacred when I focus on blessings.

My landscape is precious when I ignore the negative.

My landscape is finding all the positive in the present.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

self taught therapist

My new series PSYCHOLOGICAL LANDSCAPES is truly teaching me something. Lots of answers are deep within our psyche and it’s up to us to unearth it.
Nothing is perfect and that’s okay. Life does not have to be perfect to be GREAT!


Our psyche is a mixed bag of thoughts at any one second. How quickly it changes from one thought to another. We can find our life’s purpose, our craziest idea, and a silly joke all in a nano second. We can also find happiness in the midst of an unhappy situation. We can find answers when full of questions. We can find peace when tormented by wars of the mind.




My mind is at war.

It can’t find a way to make peace.

It has two armies and neither can win.

One is fighting for perfection and purpose.

The other is in mortal combat for realized dreams and wishes.

It gives me a headache.



Thursday, November 15, 2012

time to re-scape the land masses

It’s time to get my psychological landscape re-scaped.

I need to find a way to trim the overgrowth and remove the deadwood.

I want to replant the posies and increase the order.

I would love to know a peaceful setting and feel a happy life.

I would like to be able to do the things I want to do and feel joy.

I would like to serve and be responsible without fretting.

I would like to be the person people think I am.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Healing Landscapes

Lost in a psychological landscape and I can’t find my way out.


All the paths are blocked with fear and worry.

All the directions are leading me in circles.

All the maps are in fine print and I can’t read them.

I am praying to God to get me home.

I am asking God to protect me until then.

I am seeking His guidance to show me the way to peace again.

The situation is dark. No moon. No stars. I can’t see.

The way is unclear and winding in directions too unfamiliar to get out.

I’m all alone and there’s no one nearby to show me.

God is my only hope.

God is my only pathway.

God is my only direction.



Amazing how this fluke of a painting series has opened up a whole new train of thought to trying to understand my situation. It truly proves that imagery and words are healing. Maybe I will eventually find a happier, brighter psychological landscape. Perhaps in the end, life will be easier, better understood, fresh and new. I can at least hope.

Lord, in your mercy. Help me find all that I’m looking for. Show me how to be content. Assist me in finding the answers I need. Continue to bless me and allow me to be happy again. Relieve my suffering and fears. Improve my attitude. Amend my spirit. Restore my faith. Revive my heart. Remodel my soul. In your sweet Son’s name, Amen.


the right side of our psychological landscape


The ground tries to swallow me up into the depth of its blackness and

at the same time it tries to hold me up top and solid.

The ground is terra firma; the ground is wobbly and unreliable.

Below the horizon line is both tentative and strong.

Above the horizon line is both well-lit and dim.

Each living being spends a lifetime struggling
to remain in the light on solid earth.

Each living being occupies spaces of light and dark
simultaneously and we must choose where to reside.

Finding this balance is not an easy thing for most.
It is a concerted effort.




Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Landscapes in the Mind

Walking through my mind, I find no way to survive myself.


Strolling through my heart, I find no way to love myself.

Marching through my soul I find no way to forgive myself.

Striding through my spirit I find no way to heal myself.

Ambling through my life I find no way to control myself.



In my mind’s world I am lost.

In my heart’s mind I am confused.

In my spirit’s mind I am sick.

In my soul’s mind I am angry.

In my mind’s world I am discontent.



A secret world exists in our subconscious much like an underground empire.

It just may be our greatest achievement to unearth it and learn who we really are.

People may spend years in therapy and never find that place.

Maybe we are the only ones who can unlock that area of consciousness or unconsciousness.

If we spend time in deep thought really observing, listening and realizing our truth it may be totally possible.

It may take an entire lifetime.

It may take much selfishness.

It may take a great deal of self-discipline.

It may take understanding family and caring friends to give us this space we need to accomplish this feat.

I believe it is absolutely possible.




Thursday, November 08, 2012

finding balance is a war of the mind

How do we find this balance?


By desiring strongly what we deserve we find a way to make the right choice.

By weighing the positive and the negative we see what is important.

By believing in the divine power of the universe (GOD for me) we are guided.

These are only beginning ideas. Find what works for you!

The mind is often our greatest battlefield.

It is the place where we create or defeat ourselves.

It is where we live.

It is where all of life’s influences come together and our psyche is determined.

It is our biggest victory or our ultimate downfall.

The mind is the last frontier.

Much has been discovered but there’s still much to explore and conquer.


Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Daily we walk the paths of our lives.

Some are well lit places of joy and goodness.

Some are dark spaces of melancholy and malice.

Some we go down by choice, some by chance, and some by influence.

Who’s to say we shouldn’t go down each path for different reasons?

The dark paths either make us or break us.

The well-lit ones either encourage us or defy us.




Tuesday, November 06, 2012

balance is within

We walk through life through our own psyche. Sometimes we find well-lit positive places that illuminate our way. Other times we feel our way along dark passages of confusion and pain. Both negativity and positivity exist within each of us. We must constantly choose the place we wish to dwell. Everyone has down times but the ones, who seem to be always optimistic, are always choosing their thoughts and attitudes and reactions to everything in their path. They find a way to stay up. They find a way to be content. They choose to rely on the blessings of life. They focus on the affirmative and ignore or suppress the undesirable. They also do it in healthy ways by taking walks, writing, creating, praying, or just being in God’s will.




_ _ _

There is a narrow bridge between the hemispheres of the brain. We constantly try to balance as we cross the bridge. We find a way to stay on the happy side if we focus on the joyful blessings in our lives. One glimpse of the unhappy side and we plunge into a deep abyss of doubt and trouble. We must battle this walk not only daily but sometimes breath by breath. If we don’t choose correctly we may fail and reach the end of a good life. If we choose right then we find a life full of hope and peace and goodness.

_ _ _

On shaky ground I balance barely on a single step of hope.

On unsteady paths I walk gingerly avoiding disaster.

Along one rocky passage I find darkness inescapable.

Suddenly a shaft of light hits my psyche and I find my way.

A glimmer of faith keeps me stable.




Monday, November 05, 2012

Life is lived in a psychological landscape

Life is lived in a vortex that spins us into oblivion.

Life is lived in a whirlwind of details.

Life is lived for others and often our own needs are neglected.

Life is lived in gray tones that flood our spirits.

Life is lived from hilltop to valley.

Life is lived in turbulence.

Life is lived in peace.

Life is lived by our own choices.


Life is a series of ups and downs.

Life is craggy and crooked.

Life is smooth and undaunted.

Life is textured with both hope and anguish.

Life is painted in dull shades and muted hues.

Life is drawn in simple lines and distorted shapes.

Life is sculpted in our day to day expressions and our time worn lineages.






Sunday, November 04, 2012

scars and rainbows


All lives are blotted with color.


Dark and dank when low in esteem or situation.


Bright and cheerful when on a peaceful high.


All lives are etched by circumstances.


Cold, hard scrapes when living raw and open.


Smooth, silky scars when living protected and closed.



We climb a colorful mountain of perky peaks.

We follow the proverbial rainbows of life.

Sometimes the peaks are sharp and we snag our psyche.

Sometimes the colors are too dazzling and blind us.


Thursday, November 01, 2012

the mind's proof

Dark places in the mind


lead us to feelings unkind.

Troubles of the psyche

tend to make us rather crazy.

Powers of the soul

break us or make us whole.

Our mentality is either peaceful

or fearful.

Our consciousness is full of light

or blinded by our plight.

Self-realization comes to us calmly

or tears us apart violently.

Our psychological landscape is our truth

and our personality is the proof.