mixed emotions

Lord, in your mercy,


Give me the spiritual tools to continue this journey.

Provide the scripture to guide me to a holy decision.

Hear my cries and pleas for answers and solutions.

Point me to the attitude I should have.

Give me the words to explain and assist.

Help me know that this too shall pass, improve and become the new normal.

Amen.
Clouds return and with them my heart is overshadowed with the same weariness that has dimmed my spirit for years.

The air chills and my soul is made cold once again to the hope of a life of peace.

The trees attempt to green and flourish unlike my life that continues to wane and fail from lack of joy.

The calendar proclaims springtime but my lips cry of an end to any and all cheerfulness.

No one knows better than me, life is what you make it.

No one realizes more that attitude is a conscious choice with each wakening.

No one can attest to the importance of reaction more than I can.

No one will ever be able to stress the need for strong belief more than I will.
So often the truth is right in front of our eyes but we can’t see it for all the aggravation and distraction. Only the truth is what we must focus on. The truth is the reality that matters in each and every situation. Those without reverence for truth and those who cannot avoid distraction are hindered. Everyone’s truth is not the same. Each one’s distraction is not the same. Each one’s reality is not the same but truth is truth. Seek the truth. Tell the truth. Know the truth. Believe the truth. The truth shall indeed set you free. Allow it.
Truth. Peace. Contentment. All three make for a life of comfort, joy and hope.
Joy comes with the morning. Tears fall into the night. It is darkest before the dawn but with sunrise comes hope. With light comes realization. With daybreak come solutions. Sunup brings a lasting faith. Darkness was not permanent. Staying in the light is a conscious choice to feel positive. Courage is found in brightness.

I write a lot of drivel about hope, optimism and Christian ideals. I try hard to believe it. I write it to aid my own outlook. I am always trying to strengthen my own view. Words give me comfort. Ideas point me in the direction of better days. Language encourages me to express a higher belief. Expressions and quotes teach me new ways to exist. I find myself lost in my own thoughts sometimes. I find myself discouraged by my own lack of trust in widely accepted tenets. I know I can often talk myself out of depression and into the light of reassurance. I can also allow worry to dominate my thoughts. Fear easily attacks me in the night. Some days I can barely see the light for the troublesome thoughts that overtake me. I have to find a bit of peace anyway I can. I have to choose to alter my thinking, ignore the negative notions and release the possibility of any doubt.
Maybe I can find peace. Maybe there truly is the proverbial light at the end of the long dark passage. Maybe there is a clear answer to every clearly stated question. Maybe there is a solution to every problem. Maybe there is always a better choice. Maybe there is always a better way if we aren’t afraid to keep looking, keep hoping and keep searching. Maybe there is no one right way to any one situation. Time allows things to come full circle. A steady pace permits things to fall into place. A “never-give-up” attitude can see anyone through any circumstance.