struggles

Rise above the anger and hate.

Climb out of the deep dark hole of self-pity.

Cleanse you soul of all doubt and fear.

Let go of complacency and embrace possibility.

Choose the bright side of hope and seek a joy in answered prayer.

Believe the goodness of God and know His strength is yours.

***

The words I wrote last night are hollow this morning.

When life is easy we tend to forget how hard it can be and our pipe dream ideas mean nothing if they can’t be believed in the tough times.

Learning to lean on the inner strength (which is God) outwardly manifests itself in everything we do. Inner umpf protects us from outer problems.



cravings

To see the sacred in the ordinary days.

To feel joy in small things.

To know contentment all ways.

These are the things I crave!

realizations

Why am I weak when

God is strong?
Why do I try to control when only
God can?
Why do I give up rather than give in to
God?
Why do I worry and fret when
God can handle it all for me?
Why do I keep asking the same dumb questions when
God has all the answers.
Why do I question circumstances or situations when
God has reasons.
Why can’t I just take it with
God’s help?

present living/winter dreams

If you must relive the past then think of all the good times.

 Recount all the blessings.

If you must obsess over the future…

dream of all the wonderful times to come.

Plan for good memories to be made.

Today, this moment is all you can physically handle, change or direct…make it what counts,

what you want to be…

one of joy, peace, contentment.

(image is 5X7 canvas for mystery art event; I call it winter beach)

journal pages and discoveries about the present

The real truth is I want my old life back. The truth is it is no longer an option. This is now. My life. One of endless caregiving…appointments…errands…chores…visits…pep talks…encouragement…prayer…and little sleep.



A positive…it’s made me a deeper, more spiritual person and writer…I wish my faith and character were stronger but I’ve allowed old demons to continue to visit me. Old ghosts to haunt me and tired scenarios to stream continually. It’s time to shoot them down. All the bothersome, pain giving, gut wrenching memories that cannot be changed. It’s time to stop dwelling on all the what ifs, whens, shoulda, woulda, coulda and…once and for all focus on this moment. Breathe this breath. Live this minute. Know that you control how to play out this very second. How to react to this present situation, what to choose is in your control.






LIFE IS NOW!

It's always about your F O C U S

Peace eludes a weary mind.

Faith dries in a hurting heart.

Joy evacuates a broken spirit.

Hope deserts a doubtful soul.

Staying in the present is to out last the negative with the next halted breath or the next skipped heartbeat.

People do not do what they are advised.

Life is a conundrum.

Many days are good but just as many are bad.

Troubles attack and blessings abound simultaneously.

We miss happiness by focusing on the bad. And we overreact to the negatives while underemphasizing the positive.

We lose the present joys by paying too much attention to the past and over thinking the future.

(THE BIGGER PROBLEM is to figure out how to REVERSE OUR FOCUS!)

struggles with the mind, heart, spirit and soul

Forever changed

She struggles

Doubtful moments

Faith struggles

Lost ways

Sanity struggles

Wandering spirit

Life struggles

Blessings continue

Spirit rebounds

God speaks

She listens

Hope returns

Soul revives

Love abounds

Life restores

All repeat

(new art journal finished, will be sharing next few days)

LiFe, bAlanCe & BreaThing

Take a personal day....

Alone I break down.

Tears come out of dry sockets.

Life is daunting.

I may not survive.

My brain cells are dying.

My organs are wearing out.

My hopes are vanishing.

My dreams are disintegrating.

My faith is diminishing.

BUT…

My God is unchanging.

it's A L W A Y S up to Y O U!

Peace is a choice. Make it.

Courage is a gift. Open it.

Faith is a privilege. Use it.

Hope is a grace. Enjoy it.

Love is a pleasure. Share it.

Joy is a blessing. Give it.

Choosing the P R E S E N T

I cannot change a person but I can choose to accept them. I cannot change all situations but I can choose my reaction. I cannot be everything to everyone all the time but I can choose to do what I can when I can for as long as I can. I cannot fix dire situations but I can choose not to worry over it.

I have a choice and privilege….

To stay in the present

How I behave

Where I go

What my attitude is

How I take care of myself

How I care for others

Who I want to be

What I say and think

To be happy

Art Therapy

Life is full of twists and turns but if we stay

with the present then we know the joy of now.

Troubles come and go but good can still be experienced

if we stay in the hope of now.

Problems occur but prayers are still answered;

 thank God for now.

Every day has its own challenges but staying

in the present moment and dealing is the gift of now.

Finding grace, believing in love and

choosing the presence of good is the mercy of now.

Making it with God

No day is a bad day if

God is with you.

No life is too difficult if

God is with you.

No situation is too hard if

God is with you.

No person is too much to handle if

God is with you.

No problem is too big if

God is with you.

help for present troubles

another night of little sleep

God is my strength

my thoughts are dark

God is my light

letting go of past and future demons

God is my present help

struggling with unnecessary fear

my faith is in God

battling the same old wars

God is my peace

fearing the worse

God is my best

trouble may fill my thoughts but

God fills my spirit

(sharing a series of ink and watercolors over notes from NOW by Richard Singer, Jr.; quote is his, “You and you alone have the choice and the ability to either torture yourself for being human or forgive yourself for your mortality and imperfection.“

Present=Now and other Notes from the Inner Demon

Found a great book at the Library (NOW by Richard Singer Jr.) full of help with my 2012 PRESENT focus word. If I could only find some energy for life daily….(I will be sharing much I learn from this book!)
Dying from the inside out


Soul is heavy


Spirit is breathless


Heart is broken


Mind is warped


Is there any hope

God comforts the depressed. 11 Corinthians 7:6
Getting through the holiday my peaceful spirit is upset. My mind overflows with pathogens robbing me of all joy. God is there but my sight is dying. Taking a deep breath I barely live. Fear looms at me and I grasp for God’s hand to not go under. Scripture speaks to me but I must force it into my spirit. Prayers afford me a sounding board but my words feel like a failure. Friends and family try to support me but they do not understand my weary soul, fatigued sleepless body and hopeless spirit.
I guess I’ll hit bottom before I can rise from the ashes. I just don’t know if I’ll even make it to the bottom before my being gives up and gives into the demons all around me.


I tell myself just get through this breath, this one tick of the clock but it becomes increasingly difficult.
I know the problem has to do with worry over mom and dad. What will happen next? I still need to learn much to live this moment…and get through this one breath and heartbeat.

simple words

Do what you must.

Endure.

Believe what matters.

Care.

Accept what is necessary.

Live.

Got the distance.

Persist.

Trust your inner guide.

Pray.

Know your own power.

Hope.

Assert your strength.

Faith.

Random Thoughts

If there were four of me maybe:



• I could get it all done, make everyone happy and still not destroy myself.


• I could be content with life and want to live forever as I am.


• I could know all that I need to know in order to really live and not just survive.


• I could find myself, my purpose, my dreams and my hopes and my maybe be whole again.



The present must be dealt with, accepted and appreciated but art is my wonderful escape. It’s affordable therapy. Ideas, hopes and dreams are explored. Life is better understood and lived.


Why the hell can’t life be a movie? A happy ending every couple hours with previews of more good scenes in between? A beautiful starlet and handsome leading man? A plot that solves in three acts?


Focusing on the present. Living for today doesn’t mean I do silly dangerous stuff. It does mean I let go of all the silly worries and troubles of the past. Trusting they are past and not necessarily going to repeat in the future. However, neither does the future have to hold unwarranted problems. Why worry about what happened in the past or may happen tomorrow? Now is all we hold. All we have control over and all we can react on. Believe in the strength that has gotten you this far and the strength God will give you tomorrow.


I know things could be worse but I’m just tired of so much in my life right now that fatigues me. I told an art acquaintance that art is my stress reliever…and it is…it takes lots away….


Art is a very present activity even though it engages thoughts of past lessons and future dreams, it takes lots of current supplies and ideas…making it is a kind of therapy that many and time cannot buy….

----

what goes on in the mind

When I still myself

My world caves in around me.

I feel, see, and hear all that is wrong.

When I stay busy and over do

I feel the pain but keep going till I drop.

I know, understand and accept all that is wrong.

When I pray and ask for help

My life finds balance and hope.

I believe, trust and realize all that is wrong but

I also feel, see and hear all that is right.

Reviewing past Word Focus!

shadow and light