Bound and gagged
I can’t say
To anyone
How I really feel,
What I need or
When it really began.
Although I have a hunch it started with my first breath.
I guess it will end only with my last.
---
It’s not really family getting me down.
It’s all of life.
It’s my spirit flooded with fear.
It’s my brain overrun with doubt.
It’s my heart smothered with worry.
It’s my soul weighed down with superstition.
---
I need to cry till I am dehydrated.
I need to be held till I’m content.
I need to find hope where none is obvious.
I need to know for sure there are better days ahead.
I need to have someone hold me while I sob.
I need to sleep till my body is rested.
But nothing feels this cavernous soul and
I desperately feel lost and unsure.
I know selfless is the way of the teachings of Christ.
AND my needs do not have to be first BUT
I can’t remember when they ever were---so that’s why I whine
So much but there are not enough whining’s to get my needs met ever!
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