in an instant - change

February 7, 2013


It started like a usual day going to Caroleen. I slept poorly and dreaded the day and trip which today extended to Asheville for a sleep study informational class. Bathed, had devotions and left. But it progressed to an automobile accident where the Scion was totaled but we were not. Thank God, it could have been so much worse. However I feel so bad about it all. Back in Rutherford County, I was pulling out of the road from Rite Aid to cross a road between two parking lots to the Food Lion. I turned my head for a second to speak to Mom in the back (yes, a distraction). I looked back. Dad spoke “watch out” or something and BOOM! I hit a pickup truck in the passenger door. Air bags deployed and all were shaken up and sore but nothing serious. We all declined a hospital visit. I knew it was my fault and apologized numerous times but never felt it was enough. All the legal and medical stuff was finished. Opal and Wayne came to drive us home. Everyone was so nice. The EMT’s and the officers. Yes, I got a ticket. No surprise. Officer even apologized for it but air bag deployment dictates it. I have a court date on March 11 but he said insurance letter should cancel it. We will see. The cost will be $240. ($50 ticket and $190 court cost)

I stayed the night to make sure no complications arose later. Seemed to be just usual soreness and shaky nerves. We slept a little but not great. I got them breakfast and did the usual maintenance jobs and went by the wrecker service to get more stuff from the car and came home to recharge where I stretched out on the bed for half an hour, talked to Terry, fixed lunch, took a shower and started laundry. Watched Big Bang Theory and Nashville on tape.

Lord, in your mercy…

5 PM
I want to say, “Lord Where were you but you were there.” No one was seriously injured.

I want to go home to my quiet little haven but I know I need to stay and make sure all is okay.

Psalm 30

I called you, Lord. You healed and spared us.

Praise you.

Weeping last for the night but joy comes in the morning.

Turn my wailing to laughter.

Make me dance with spirit.

Lord, I will give you thanks forever.

Amen.

Keep us safe from here out.

I think we should not replace Scion and put any insurance money in the Equity account. It will be hard to convince them. BUT THEY WILL NOT BE DRIVING!

February 8, 2013

1 AM

Can’t sleep…nervous…IBS…worry…fear
Lord, in your mercy, end my nightmares….show me answers that fulfill your will for us all….
6 AM

Made it through the night with a few wakings but no troubles since Dad’s typical weak spell. Matthew came up to stay a bit. He was a great help. (He came for a couple hours just for hugs, support and help.) Made me feel better.

Lord, in your mercy, here’s to better days.
My nerves are still shot from the whole ordeal. My body is still fatigued over the spotty sleep and whole ordeal. My mind is still spinning with what ifs, if onlys and whys, the spotty sleep and whole ordeal.

I will survive this too.
There are no answers to whys.
NEG: no Scion, unnecessary angst, new fears, new obstacles, ticket, court date, insurance issues and questions about car replacement (and we just got new tires)
POS: no serious injuries, maybe one less car to deal with, less costs in the end, new opportunity to learn Fruit of the Spirit, maybe a step to help and hope of better days
Psalm 6

Be merciful to me for I am faint, heal me for my bones are in agony…my soul is in anguish, how long O Lord, how long? Turn to me and deliver me. Save me with your unfailing love. I am worn out from my moaning. Flood my life with tears of joy. My eyes grow weak with sorrow. You have heard my cry for mercy and accepted my prayer.

I could stare at the mountains all day and forever, seeking strength.

I could stare at the ocean forever seeking healing from waters.

I could sit in a garden for days knowing life’s truth.

I could study the Psalms for the rest of my life and learn peace.

(these words came to me on the way down the mountain)