The blue skies reflect a hope almost forgotten after 4 long months of caretaking, encouraging and praying for my Dad's recovery and Mom's health to withstand the trauma of it all.
A flock of black birds gather in the trees above me declaring the phrase "safety in numbers". So why do I continue to prefer solo efforts? The way I grew up, an only child, I depended on few. I still do. One can only truly count on one's self as all others are not completely predictable. I do lean on God even though I sometimes hate to bother Him so much. Life is complicated as it is. Too many factors complicate it further. I truly believe in "less is more" and "keep it simple". I imagine even someone from a large family would have the wish for a solitary existence from time to time. Would they fair better or worse? I do know that Susanna Wesley, mother of John and Charles Wesley, who had over a dozen children (maybe 18, but I don't remember) often found the need to gather her skirt layers around and over her to shut out the chaos and pray. Just as I enjoy the same, but I gather my journal, pen, sketch pad and nature about me and crawl deep within my safe retreat. There I find amazing peace, comfort, warmth and safety. Shutting out problems, fears, worries, and troublesome components, I rest there until I can face the real world again. It isn't often I go extremely deep for it is then that I wish to lock the door of my spirit and stay there for eternity. Perhaps one day I will. Perhaps that will be my heaven .
2 comments:
I feel your deep sadness.
Journaling is a safe haven for so many of us. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. I hope too that your dad and mom are doing well. My dad just had a two week visit at the hospital and is on the mend. Four months is a long time! Take good care of yourself.
{soul hugs}
Kathryn
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