Year in Year out reflections

(cleaned out scraps and front of fridge)

 

 

Three hundred sixty five days ago, I would not be able to imagine I could have been here now. I was so tired, weary, and fearful. I had an unhappy son who was becoming more and more anxious and depressed. I had a mother deep in the throes of Alzheimers. I was feeling all the aging issues start to take over my entire body and life. Plus I was doing all the things you do as a wife and mother. Fill in the details.

 

Here on the edge of two thousand eighteen, I am in awe. I am amazed. I am curious. Yes, I am also a little apprehensive. I made through some tough stuff. I can make it through more but I do wonder what more must I endure? Have I even broken the surface of what I will have to withstand? My Sunday school class has three recent widows. They had children to spend Christmas with. They have lost grandchildren, parents and siblings but they say losing a spouse is harder. I fear this. My husband is truly part of my very soul. We are one. I’ve learned I’m strong but do I want to know how strong? No.

 

-=-=--

 

Also as I look at a way to make 2018 the best year yet, I consider all the clutter in life. My mind stays cluttered with fears and issues I just don’t know how to keep dealing with. My body is cluttered with foods I should not eat and habits I should not have. My soul is filled to the brim with all that happened to me and may happen to me. My home is too cluttered. I save too much. Even my digital files are spilling over.

 

It is time to let go of STUFF. I do not need half the stuff I own. I can’t wear all my clothes. I don’t use all the things I have. I can’t possibly live long enough to use all I have. My art has evolved to use all things in mixed media and that has certainly made me save too much. My husband is a hoarder as well so I’m afraid my son has a problem someday. It was difficult to clean out my parent’s house. I’m ashamed to say we own two full houses and two barns too.

 

Therefore, I must turn to my word for the year—abide. I must abide in Christ and Him in me. I must allow him to handle my stuff and help me start letting go of stuff. I must allow God to clean my crevices, physical and spiritual. I must turn to God to be my life coach, only he can truly make my life space tidy.